I got about half-way through chapter 4 and also did some heavy editing of earlier chapters. Here’s my favorite snippet from chapter 2:
“I am well aware of Officer
Sareris’s opinion on biotics, and myself,” the Kabalim went on. “There is
nothing he can say or do that would jeopardize my position in the Hierarchy.
And I would still have given the Silverback Armor my recommendation for use in
the Cabal, even if you had agreed with him. It is high grade military armor and
the turian military should consider utilizing it.”Gwen was left open mouthed, staring
at the Kabalim in disbelief. Did he seriously think she only stood up to
Officer Susan-the-douche because she was concerned he wouldn’t give Hahne-Kedar
armory a good report?Closing her mouth slowly, she
angled her head to catch his attention. “I didn’t yell at Officer Sareris
because I wanted to stay in your good graces.” The Kabalim cocked his head,
seemingly confused. “You… the Cabal,” she sighed. “You’re good soldiers, and
good people. No one gets to sit back and spew that baseless nonsense while I’m
around. You’re a way better soldier than that old jerk. I’ve seen you in
action. Who cares if you’re a biotic? You’re amazingly talented and a dynamic
leader.”Gwen stopped herself before she
could continue gushing, to fix the Kabalim with a decided stare. The Kabalim’s
mandibles were flapping out against his face, his brow plates were raised, and the
hide on his neck had taken on an almost greyish-blue hue. Did I embarrass him? Gwen wondered.
I need dis
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