This is going to be so fun to write!
For @robinapril : A different universe’s Shakarian: Teaser! The rest will be posted to my Ao3 as soon as it’s completed (which will probably be in a few hours)
It starts with a simple inquiry, but one that she hadn’t expected to come so far from out of left field.
“Shepard?”
She smiles at the curiosity laced in his voice, not opening her eyes from where she rests her head on his chest. It’s quiet moments like these that really give her the chance to come down from the constant stresses of the ongoing war. Feeling his talons push a strand of hair from her forehead, she remembers that usually one is supposed to answer – or at least acknowledge – when someone talks to them.
Stretching against his side, she cracks open an eye. “Yeah?” His mandibles flutter in what she’s come to term as his ‘I have something to say, but I’m entirely too sure I’m going to mess it up somehow’. Just to clear up that line of thinking, she squirms into a more attentive position leaning up on an elbow and smirks down to him. “Been thinking?”
Garrus huffs a laugh, but she still senses his nerves. What in the world has got him, the cocky and smug turian he’s become lately, she doesn’t know, but she’s pretty sure she’s going to have to tamp down her amusement. She doesn’t want to scare away what little courage he’s mustering up.
“Yeah,” he says with another flutter of his mandibles, this time one that speaks of his attempt to give his best at smiling in reassurance that he’s got this. She isn’t sure which one of them he’s trying to convince. “You could say that.”
“I’m all ears.” He gives her a confused look and she chuckles. “It means my attention is all yours. I want to hear whatever you have to say.”
“Well.” If he could rub his neck in that quirk of his, she’s sure he would be. As it is, he’s just twitching as if he seriously has to pee. “I don’t want to upset you, but I was thinking about, well.” He doesn’t finish that thought, but his hand wave towards the skylight makes her assume he means all the mess of ‘that which they will not mention while in these stolen moments of peace’. She nods in silent assurance that she understands without him having to say the dreaded words. “Well,” he says again, and she almost cracks a smile at how many times he’s been repeating that word, as if trying to delay what’s got him so worked up, “I don’t know how it is with humans, but I was thinking about what many turians do when mates are separated during their postings. You know, about relieving stress?”
An idea comes to mind, one that seems all too turian, but she doesn’t want to jump to conclusions and shut down what he really wants to get to. “Yeah. I bet that’s a problem when separated. So what do they do?”
Garrus’ mandibles flutter nervously once more as he looks up to the stars glimmering through the wisps of blues and violets created from their FTL speed. After a long pause, he looks back to her, pulling his mandibles in tight. “It’s all by agreement – don’t worry – but sometimes they take on another partner. Not one that replaces their mate. But more like a way to ease stress. Not that it’s something I want-”
Smiling and thankful that this conversation hasn’t taken a very awkward – well, more awkward and one she can’t get past due to interspecies cultural differences – direction, Shepard lays her free hand on his chest. “You’re suggesting the idea that we have someone who we can relax with when the other is unavailable,” she offers, thinking she understands. When she nods, she tilts her head down to him. “Why didn’t you just say that?”
“I know humans tend to remain in exclusive pairs. I mean, I read that there are some more like turians, but I didn’t want to assume.” His eyes widen and she sees him tense. “Not that I did that! Shepard, I never-”
She can’t help the light chuckle as she shakes her head. “I didn’t think you did. I know you. You would just assume I’m okay with something before just coming out and saying it first.” She doesn’t add that she’s pretty sure he was deathly afraid of ruining the relationship they’ve built if his hesitance during their reunion is any indication. “So,” she starts, deciding to jump over all the worry about cultural norms and differences, “What do you have in mind? Anyone in particular caught your eye?”
Smirking, she watches him squirm again. “Well, I… I haven’t really thought a whole lot about it… And I still want you to know that you mean more to me than anything-”
Better to cut him off before he rambles, losing more and more confidence, she decides to throw him a line by giving who she’d choose, now that she thinks about it. “This is an interesting idea, Garrus.” When his mouth closes, she smirks. “Want to know who I’d pick?” Humming in what she’s come to associate with curiosity or wordless question, he gives a slight nod. “The Primarch,” she says with a wide grin.
She almost worries she said the wrong thing as he emits the weirdest sounding vocal, a mix between a choke and cough. Quickly, he recovers, though, now rumbling with a raised brow plate. “Adrien? Really?”
“Oh, it’s Adrien, now?” she teases, poking a finger at his waist, right below his rib plates. It makes him jerk a bit, that tiniest of spots the closest he has to a ticklish area on his body, but he quickly recomposes himself.
Reaching up to scratch his scar, his mouth moves slightly – as if mulling over his words – before he explains, “He and I shared a few, maybe drunken, quiet moments after…” He gives her a knowing look and she frowns slightly, nodding in understanding of what it is two turians would be sharing drinks over. For the best, she figures, that at least one of them was able to get the Primarch drunk enough to release the pain of losing all he lost in such a short amount of time. Seeing her understanding, he continues. “I guess getting drunk and reminiscing got us on a first name basis. Off-duty, of course.”
“Of course.” She chuckles and nods, getting back to the question she’s dying to have answered. “So, who’s your choice of ‘blowing off steam’ partner?”
She expects a female turian or asari, hell, maybe even another human, but what she doesn’t expect is him to give a quick twitch of a nod before purring. “Same.”
“Same?” The words fall from her lips before her brain works through the meaning of his answer. When it does, she finds that she couldn’t grin any wider even if she tried. She tries to add a purr to her voice as she lowers it and leans closer to him. “Oh? You have a thing for our illustrious Primarch, Reaper Advisor Vakarian? And when did this start?”
“Uh.” His mandibles twitch and his eyes search her face. “I may have thought about it on Menae, don’t laugh.”
Shepard bites her lips to keep from doing just that, instead making a muffled sound of bitten back laughter. Shaking her head, she clears her throat to try and will her control back. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just funny that you’ve had a crush since Menae.”
“It’s not a,” he starts, cutting himself off with an indignant sigh, “You’re doing this on purpose.” She smiles and leans down to kiss his cheek in encouragement to continue and promise that she’s done making fun. “I guess I was interesting in the idea, but didn’t want to get too far into that line of thinking. It felt… wrong to think about another when what we have wasn’t clear, or even if I’d ever see you again.”
A warmth spreads through her at his admission, never expecting him to stick to a strict code of conduct he saw on some vid when they hadn’t even had the time to explain their feelings to each other. Sure, she had hoped she would find him and the two of them could go from ‘stress relief buddies’ to something more comforting in this uncertain times, but that was a relationship that both needed to agree to with no silent expectations thrown into the mix.
She cups his cheek and tilts his head to kiss him softly. He makes that lovely purr like a rolling engine as she pulls away and smiles, which she gladly returns.
“I like the idea. But I have a question.”
“What is it?”
Nibbling on her cheek, she drums her fingers on his chest plate before looking into his eyes. “Does this mean that it’s just a one-on-one? You know, that we can’t all do it together since we both want the same person?”
He tilts his head. “Like just adding a person into our usual nights?” She nods, finally unsure. Last thing she wants is to make him believe that she doesn’t want this for the both of them, but she has a selfish desire to still have him there with her, and to still be there by his side. No Shepard without Vakarian.
He rumbles and grins. “I don’t see why not.” Stopping, he pulls his mandibles in against his chin. “We’d have to ask Adrien, but I don’t think he’d mind if he agrees to us both individually. If he doesn’t care, then, yeah,” he says with a wide grin, “ why the hell not?”
This monster took on a life of its own at over 7K words. As you can imagine, I’m not going to be posting the whole thing here on Tumblr, but check it out here!
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