1.“Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”
2.“Can I buy you a drink?”
3.“Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”
4.“You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.” “Who even says that?” “Me. Just now.”
5.“If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”
6.“No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”
7.“Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”
8.“This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”
9.“I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds.”
10.“You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”
11.“Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”
12.“Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue”
13.“I am way too sober for this.”
14.“You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”
15.“Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”
16.“That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”
17.“Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”
18.“I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”
19.“This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”
20.“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”
21.“Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”
22.“What are you afraid of?” “You.”
23.“It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re angry.”
24.“Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”
25.“Stop that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”
26.“You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”
27.“It’s a long story” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”
28.“You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” “Watch me!”
29.“I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”
30.“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”
31.“Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”
32.“Wait, you’re a superhero?” “How do you not know? My face is literally on the news on a weekly basis.” “I’m in grad school. I won’t have time to follow popular media until I finish my thesis. You’re lucky I’ve carved out some non-existent free time to date you.”
33.“I’m just really tired of watching you get thrown off the tops of buildings”
34.“Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star.”
35.“I feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”
36.“Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”
37.“We’re leaving.” “But they have a lobster tank in their basement.”
38.“Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”
39.“I don’t care where I sleep, as long as it’s with you.”
40.“You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”
41.“Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”
42.“You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”
43.“She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”
44.“I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”
45.“How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”
46.“I thought you forgot about me.” “Never.”
47.“I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”
48.“You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”
49.“I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”
50.“What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”
51.“I think that you’re not as dark as you want people to believe.”
52.“Sometimes, memories are the worst torture.”
53.“I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”
54.“You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”
55.“Why are they afraid of you?”
56.“Literally everything about this is illegal.”
57.“You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”
58.“Why me?” “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”
59.“I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”
60.“It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”
61.“You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”
62.“Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”
63.“Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”
64.“I’d know that smirk anywhere.”
Heh. This might be fun. 🙂
SquigglySquidd's Parables 