As she stood pondering the first thing she’d do while on
shore leave, a sharp cry shook her from her thoughts and had her instinctively
reaching for her cutlass. Recognizing the shout as one of her crew, Jane
sprinted toward the starboard side of the vessel. The night crew, which
consisted of only seven people, including herself, had gathered at the side of
the ship and were murmuring and gesturing to something caught in the tow line –
which Jane saw with burning irritation had not been secured.Pushing her way through the crowd, she peered over the side
of the ship and almost forgot how to breath. Tangled in the thick rope and
thrashing frantically was a creature she’d only seen in books; silvery scales
like crescent moons gleamed in the reflected light of the lanterns being held
aloft by the crew. A thick, powerful tail churned the water until it frothed an
angry white and every few moments, an upper torso with strong arms and webbed,
taloned hands appeared.“Shepard, it’s getting dragged against the hull,” Major
Alenko whispered excitedly. “It’ll be ripped to pieces.”While there was no record of merians attacking human
vessels, dragging the tattered remains of one of their own behind them, while
in their territory, might be enough to change those statistics. She’d have to
move quickly.Pulling off her cobalt blue officers’ jacket and boots, Jane
rushed toward the long boats. She immediately began to untie one, so that she
could be lowered next to the struggling captive.“Shepard, what are you doing?” Alenko hissed. “Are you
insane?”Jane ignored him. “Tell Moreau to slow down, but not stop.
Lower the sails, I’m not going to be run over by my own ship.”She heard several “aye ayes” and assured her orders were
being followed, she tossed the rope over to Alenko, who was still standing next
to her and looking torn between terror and rage.“Major, lower me down. I’m going to cut it free.”
Month: June 2018
Reblog if it’s okay for people to come into your askbox and ask about your OCs
Even if I’ve never spoken to them, even if I don’t know them from a hole in the wall, even if they’re on anon, people asking questions about my OCs make my day.
Jane and Garrus in kiss as an apology hell yes pretty please
Why, of course! 😀
Maybe it’s the headache. Or maybe the painful cramping, like a vise squeezing around her abdomen, causing it. All Jane knows is she’s on the edge of agony and just plain pissed the fuck off. Despite her every intention not to take the fact that her traitorous uterus is trying to hightail it out of her and take everything with it, she finds herself biting back sharp remarks and burning anger if anyone even so much as breathed loudly beside her.
She absolutely despises the lack of control she always faces every twenty-eight days. It’s not like she doesn’t have plenty of other shit to deal with on her day to day besides keeping control of her irrational frustration.
Unfortunately for her husband, Garrus manages to burst that taut bubble of control one morning when she’s woken up by Xero running into the bedroom and diving into bed with her. She groans in irritation and pulls the blankets tighter, trying to ignore the damn varren and not send it flying with her biotics – Damocles loves that stupid fucking thing – but that forcefully held state of attempting to get back to sleep bursts into burning flames with the loud sound of something metallic dropping onto the floor.
Her eyes snap open and she sits up, practically growling. She knows exactly what that sound must be, her expensive pots and pans hitting the hard stone floors of their kitchen. She’s not sentimental over them, but dammit, those are the only things keeping her from just not giving a shit and feeding the family military rations by nagging at her not to let the fucking things collect dust from disuse. She taught her-fucking-self how to cook for them and they repay her by dropping the damn things?
Throwing the blankets off of her and ignoring how they cover Xero’s eyes and cause him to misstep and fall off the bed with a loud thud, Jane stands up and storms for the half open bedroom door. Jaw clenched, she balls her fists as she crosses the living room towards where her mate – useless turian! – bends down to pick up the fallen skillet from the floor. Jane has half a mind to thank the fact that he’s decided to be a nuisance while the kids are still asleep because she doesn’t hold back when she swings and punches him just as he’s standing up.
Garrus trills, eyes blinking in surprise as he drops the pan again. Jane thinks about punching him again, even when that small voice is screaming for her to take control of her damn self, but scowls at him, grinding her teeth when she speaks.
“Do you like ruining my things?” She pauses just a fraction of a moment to see some kind of acknowledgment show in his eyes, but growls when he still looks at her, stunned by her outburst. “My pans!” She shouts, pointing down to it. “My fucking pans, Garrus!”
He rumbles in confusion, eyes flicking over her face and fuck if that calm doesn’t irritate her more. Fluttering his mandibles, the man at least has the brains not to touch her as he holds up a hand, bends down, and picks the skillet up. He sets it on the counter and opens his mouth to speak, but she cuts him off.
“And how hard is to close the fucking door?!” Jane’s arms tremble with how hard she’s balled her fist and she lets out a strangled mix of an irritated groan and furious growl. “I feel like shit and I can’t even sleep in!” She starts to pace the kitchen, shaking her head as that small part of her brain tries to coax her into relaxing, into reconsidering the fact she’s raging over a stupid fucking pan. “You don’t get it! You’re turian. You’re a guy.” She turns around to him and jabs a finger in his direction. “You don’t have a fucking clue what I’m going through!”
Garrus makes a soft, apologetic sound as he nods. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Jane.” At his admission, Jane only becomes more frustrated because, dammit, he shouldn’t have to be fucking sorry for nothing!
Get a fucking hold of yourself, dammit!
She barely hears her husband when he steps closer to her and tilts his head, purring a subvocal that only makes her guilt over her unjust anger burn brighter because it sounds so soothing, so understanding. It’s the only thing that makes her just stop and force herself to start taking deeper breaths, even if her clenched hands haven’t yet relaxed.
“You’re in pain,” Garrus says, huffing a soft breath as he smiles down to her. “How about you go lay down? I’ll heat you up something to lay on your stomach and make you something to eat.” Having balls apparently bigger than a krogan’s, he lifts a hand and gently cups her cheek. “Chocolate pancakes sound good? I might be able to figure out how to make something chocolate to drink.”
Jane closes her eyes tight enough to see spots in the darkness behind her lids, the pain of regret for ripping into her beloved mate without a real reason stinging. She swallows thickly and nods, opening her mouth a few times. Apologies are too soon, not when some of that rage still smolders in her irrational, menstrual pain fueled mind. He doesn’t deserve an apology if her entire body isn’t sincere.
If he notices the glistening of her eyes when she opens them, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he merely releases her when she steps away and all but runs back to the bedroom, shame wrapped around her like a weighted cloak.
Jane crawls into bed and curls up, both around the pain and to bundle up her guilt. Xero comes to the side of the bed and nuzzles his snout against where she’s buried beneath the blanket and a new wince of guilt washes over her at her treatment of the poor varren without cause. Relaxing a bit to slip her head and hand out of the blankets, she offers a weak smile and pets the white varren. “Sorry, big guy,” she whispers, not wanting to fucking cry on top of all her other warring emotions.
Fucking periods. The biggest middle finger from Mother Nature.
She loses time in her apologetic soothing over the varren, but her body slowly begins to loosen up from it’s tight bundle of protection and attempt to hide from the truth of what she did. It must be a while because, before she knows it, Garrus is stepping into the room, a tray in hand, and nudges Xero away from the bed with one of his feet. Instead of running too far away, Xero merely moves over and climbs into bed on the other side, pushing up close to Jane.
She can’t look her faultless husband in the eyes as he helps her to sit and offers over a warm pad for her stomach. His low, comforting thrumming doesn’t help as she tucks it against her beneath the blankets and he sets out her tray of breakfast. Swallowing against her dry throat, she glances up at him without lifting her head and scans his face for any sign of his upset. She turns away at the complete lack of it and doesn’t look back until his weight settles on the edge of the bed.
“Hey,” he purrs, his fingers ghosting along the opposite side of her jaw to ease her to look at him. He smiles when their gazes meet and nuzzles his forehead to hers. “Your food’s going to get cold.”
“God dammit,” she whispers, tears rolling down her cheeks because fucking dammit, she doesn’t deserve this turian. “You shouldn’t be so understanding, you bastard.”
Garrus chuckles softly and shrugs. “It comes with being married to you for so long.” Rumbling, he strokes his knuckles across her cheeks, wiping at the tears that feel like a vengeful fire on her skin. “I know you better than you do, Jane. You’re in pain. And you’re right, I don’t know what it feels like. But it’s okay, because I’m here anyways.” He shifts from pressing her forehead with his and kisses her right where they touched. “Try to eat and get some rest. I’ll make sure to check up on your heating pad.”
Her hands jerk up to grab at his face as he moves to pull away. Pulling his face to hers, she presses her nose to his own, flatter one. “I don’t deserve you.”
His eyes soften as he responds with a low subvocal she feels against her palms more than hears. “Of course you do.” His mandibles flare against her hands. “And you’re stuck with me no matter what.” At his amused rumbling, Jane huffs a weak, just relieved laugh. “It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who wonders just what kind of and how many illegal things I had to have done to have you as my mate.”
Her chuckle is lighter than the rest of their horrible morning as she smiles and strokes her thumbs over the ridge of his cheek plates, both scarred and not. “Still, I’m sorry. Sorry for ripping into your ass for no damn reason.” Hearing his loving purr, she tilts her head and presses her lips to his smooth mouth plates, whispering again, “I’m so sorry.”
He doesn’t respond beyond nuzzling his mouth to her lips and returning the touch as best as his turian mouth allows. Even without words, she understands. She may never believe she deserves him, but until he wises up and leaves her, she’ll do all she can to show him how she truly feels. She will make him feel her love until her last breath.
i love writing healthy as fuck relationships, against all the odds, i love writing characters who are so completely in love with their spouse that sometimes they just stare at each other.
i love writing them because i need to remind myself that it’s possible, it’s a lot of work but it’s possible, it’s not all crumbling relationships and fights and decaying marriages, it’s not loathing your spouse.
you can have your cake and eat it too.
This. So much this. Some may say it’s unrealistic, but who cares. Let my characters have unrealistic happiness
Snippet from Juxtaposed Revisions
She can’t understand her own fucked up mind and its reluctance now. It felt so natural and genuine opening herself up on the Citadel with Garrus, but when she tries the same here where she could at least bond over training together, she found everything to be too forced beyond those jokes and forcibly friendly banter. Thinking that perhaps the ease she had found on the Citadel was just a fluke and a one time glimpse into what she’s missing out on, she sends Garrus a message during one of the four hour breaks in her training. It isn’t anything too big, just a simple “hey, what’s up?” Almost immediately, he responds and she’s shocked to find that he isn’t sending her a request not to contact him again when she looks.
“Nothing. I’m at my lunch,” his message starts. “Missing the Citadel already? It’s only been a week.” In the middle of reading his response, she received another message. “Or could it be that you’ve just missed me? I know it’s hard to be away from such a charming person such as myself.”
She laughs quietly, making sure not to attract the attentions of the trainees in the bunks beside hers. Smiling, she realizes that maybe it isn’t so bad that she has at least someone out there to talk freely to. Sure, there are some things she’s keeping from him, but she has hopes that perhaps some of it will surface naturally. She’s positive there’s still hope of that happening. It has to, or there’s no reason to imagine she can move on from all the hell she’s been through.
Falling back into the familiarity so natural from their conversations, she responds, “I don’t know, I think I remember it was you who kept finding me after your supposed work hours.”
Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic
AL-FUCKING-WAYS
I sometimes get messages about my fics and see other authors get messages like “oh my god im sorry to bother you but-” or apologizing profusely for sending multiple asks.
I promise you guys. Absolutely 0 writers are bothered by you talking to them about their fics. If you want to know a detail or are confused about something they are almost definitely sitting ready with an answer that they are excited to talk about.
Don’t feel like you HAVE to message writers (tho if you liked a fic a lot leaving comments is great encouragement) but never apologize for asking about fics or talking about them!
Listen up everybody: I don’t care if you’ve only ever read ONE of my fics, please talk to me about them!! I love getting feedback!
I will talk about my writing at all times if you let me. You have been warned.
I love feedback so much! So don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me about them and don’t apologize. God my friends will talk to me for hours if they even mention things they like about my stuff, cause I never shut up. So send stuff in if you want
Please do this!! Even if it’s to tell me my Thanos fic made you rethink your life choices 💕
I will love you forever if you come into my askbox and start talking about my fics. Seriously. I will talk about my writing all day, try me.
Always!!
God, this is like candy. And I love candy
Sometimes I wonder why I, a woman that will never think of having kids, gave Jane and Garrus kids. I mean, yeah, they’re grown now, but why?
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