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Guys, imagine this: What if Garrus from Mass Effect 1 was the equivalent to baby-faced for turians? That whole ‘get outta here kid and come back when you have some hair on your chest!’ kinda kid.

Then, in Mass Effect 2, he takes off that helmet and holy crow he’s all grown up and one handsome bastard. THEN he gets those scars and now he’s even less of a baby face and more of a rugged, badass looking turian? He’s still a huge dork, mind you, but other turians can’t believe that’s the same guy. ‘Really? THAT’S Garrus? Since when?’

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Turian Mouth and Kissing Headcanons

A thought about turian kissing came up after a recent comment on Parable and I thought, ‘why not make a list of my headcanons?’  

Let’s start with the definition of ‘kiss’ because, as humans, using the word for various aliens’ signs of affection is more natural and romantic than simply describing the act.


Kiss as a verb – (A.) To touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc. (B.) To touch gently or lightly.


Now, for the Headcanons:

  • Turians have three different types of ‘kisses’
  • A kiss between family or other close, yet nonromantic individuals, involves the press and nuzzling of mandibles.  Much like a human’s kiss, it doesn’t always have to be mandible to mandible.
  • A kiss between lovers involves the press of foreheads we all know in the fandom.  It’s similar to our closed mouth kisses.
  • They don’t press mouths together because their mouths are not sensitive and they’d have to angle their heads to do so.  At least with their forehead press, they can see one another, adding depth of emotion to the gesture.
  • The third form of kissing is one much more familiar to us, but often reserved for private life – and mostly the bedroom.  Much like we do, turian lovers often use tongues in an open-mouthed kiss.
  • This kiss is usually used when sex is on the table, as its main purpose is to taste the other as they become more aroused.  They can also flick out their tongue to taste the air much like a reptile when wet.
  • Turians possess a long, prehensile tongue that makes up for their lack of lips and open sides of their mouth.
  • Turians mouths are dry, the fact that they cannot close completely making it a challenge to keep their mouths wet.  It’s evolutionarily detrimental for the body to waste water reserves constantly maintaining that moisture.
  • Turians salivate when aroused in order to make it easier for their partner to taste their pheromones, taste their partner’s, and become more aroused.
  • Turians also salivate in an effort to keep from overheating, the heat evaporating the saliva cooling them much like mammals here on Earth.  It is very uncommon, and their bodies are no longer trying to reserve water at all costs is the last ditch effort to stay alive.
  • Because their mouths are dry, turians don’t have a good sense of taste (unless aroused, of course).  They possess a small number of taste buds towards the back of their tongue, closer to their throat.
  • Their throat is relatively wet so that food can pass easily when they swallow.
  • Turians cannot chew food and often cut their food into small pieces, which they then eat by using their tongue to move the food closer to their throats, past their teeth and open sides.  They then lift their heads, letting the food slide down their throats, swallowing as food makes its way down their esophagus.
  • Even though they possess some flexibility with their mouth plates, they are firm enough to give ‘nips.’  These don’t hurt, but some turians in interspecies relationships with species possessing lips use them to emulate a kiss as their partner can.
  • Because they only have a few teeth, their teeth can regrow so long as the nerves and gums are not damaged.  This was an important trait for their ancestors who hadn’t yet developed tools to replace the need of their teeth for hunting, fighting, eating, etc.

Pretty sure I have more somewhere in my head, but I can’t really think of them. I also don’t claim to be the ‘right’ headcanons, but I figured I’d get it out there.  Might help readers to understand Parable without bogging it down with space science.

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You know what never ceases to piss me off? Someone who thinks their headcanons are true canon and anyone who thinks differently than their ideas is wrong.

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Tell me a random Headcanon!

Could be anything, for any species, or even about the story. Hell, doesn’t even have to be about Parable (but I’d love you forever if you do).

Feel free to go anon if you need. 😀

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Random turian HC

I guess this might be slightly NSFW. Headcannons about turian puberty ahoy!

Turians are much like some birds – specifically the aquatic subspecies – in that they possess both a cloaca and genitalia (penis for males and vaginas for females). A penis, for example, sole purpose is reproduction and that’s it. Why?

Because would YOU want to expose your delicate bits to radiation everytime you have to pee? Not likely.

Coupled with the anatomical set up of genitalia, turians’ groin plates do not physically separate until puberty. Young ones aren’t likely to start having sex if they were born with plates able to separate because, given that males only erect for sex, there’d be no ‘safe’ place to put it. Adult males don’t tend to walk around fully erect with no partner to have so, considering a young male not yet mature enough to have sex but still able to come out of his protective sheath, their plates remain closed in the most pivotal stage of a turian’s life. Wouldn’t make sense to damage the goods before you can even use them.

Again, just my HC.